Mama's Boy

OH how I adore this boy. Absolutely, positively, more than "verds," to INFINITY AND BEYOND!!! (Every time I ask, "Jax, how much does Mommy love you?" His learned response since he could barely talk is, "To infinity and beyond!!! I know, Mommy. You tell me all the time.") Well, this picture, geese. I am teary right this second, even attempting to describe how dang sockety this little dude is. How much he changed my world, how incredible it is to have a "spit-fire" like him for a buddy--son. How grateful I AM for the journey of motherhood, and the opportunity/stewardship I have to lead him, guide him, walk beside him. Wow. What an awesome and overwhelming task this is! Isn't it?!? Gosh. Just look at those beautiful eyes. So pure, so rich with true joy and excitement. How can I possibly be held accountable to cultivate more of that joy, and not squash him? Oh how daunting a task.

I love this little boy.

And I LOVE this photo. And I would love to dig into why...

Let's start with that hair. It's long.

You know why?

Because he does NOT like haircuts, and it takes lot of energy, and convincing

to close a deal like that.

So...

Haircuts are rare.

It's slightly shorter on his right side.

Know why?

Because he has a cowlick on his right side.

Just like DADDY.

Yet, his haircuts are so rare, that his OCD hair "cutter," Mommy doesn't ever remember

to leave it just a little longer on that side to accommodate

the cowlick.

Oh well. He's damn cute.

His hair has some static.

Know why?

Because this child doesn't EVER actually SIT on a couch.

his legs are always in the air, head buried in the cushions,

or he is mid-flight, as a Jedi, flying through the air.

He has a grayish tooth right in the front.

Know why?

Because he has a cousin, Sophia, who he ADORES.

They get crrrazy together. Once, a couple years ago,

they were jumping on the bathtub at Sophia's house. We heard a loud thud,

came in to find Jaxon had chipped his tooth, on the faucet.

Slowly but surely, that tooth turned gray. He has had a root-canal done on it. Yet,

there it is. It's dark. It's crazy. It's a symbol of his amazing amounts of

"energy."

He wears it proudly.

And it reminds me, every time I see it, that he is a kid and a fun-lover.

He has freckles...Angel kisses...From Uncle Andy.

Jaxon Andy Jex.

He is a "caramel" ish version of his Uncle Andy.

He laughs like Uncle Andy. He is SILLY like Uncle Andy. He has a lisp like

Uncle Andy. He is a lot like Uncle Andy.

Thank heavens.

What a tender mercy.

He has beautiful, big, chocolate-drop eyes.

They are FULL of JOY! They are anxious to see MORE of this world! They are CURIOUS, and

sincere, and see the world "according to Jaxon."

It's "Beeeyeeooouuufow."

Since he was tiny...always pointing out beautiful things in this world.

They seek for more JOY and crave adventure and excitement.

Those very eyes melted his Mommy's heart.

For the first time.

When Jaxon was born, they took him and bathed him, and brought him back all clean,

calm, swaddled, with hair combed like "President Hinckley hair."

Then those chocolate-brown eyes looked up at me, and I literally felt my heart

melt out of me through my eyes. I sobbed. And sobbed. The snorting kind.

Just looking at this little bundle of perfection, realizing he was my dream come true.

And realizing how I had never loved until that moment.

Of course, I love my Jamous, of course.

But not like this.

That was totally beyond words, description, any worldly caption just doesn't cut it.

My whole being felt the "measure of my creation."

This angel, laid in my arms, trusting me. My Heavenly Father sent him to me, trusting me.

It's all true. Unbelievable.

No words, I'll stop attempting the word thing now.

Those lippies.

They need chapstick.

I could have touched them up in Photoshop, but

nope.

This is reality. Jaxon is constantly putting chapstick on, per Mommy's request.

When concentrating, this sweetie sticks out his tongue, licks his lips, bites his lips,

hence, the ever-present red, chappy lips.

lest we forget, the thumb sucking.

And the hair twisting that accompanies, just always.

Those little tight, chappy lips don't hinder that huge smile, notice.

It's dang near cracking.

Just like we love it.

Those cheeks. OOOOh, the very site of his first "hickey"

from Mommy.

Ooops.

I couldn't help it. Those poor fleshy cheeks get bitten, A. LOT.

The ears. JUST like Daddy's.

That blue shirt, twinners with baby brother...With a "popped" collar.

Because,

"It's just cooler like that, Mom."

"You're right, buddy. I love it."

Notice the "sucked in collar bone area. Jax loves to suck his tummy in, while in the tub,

so his ribs stick out. Like the Hulk's, ya know? So, occasionally we get a taste of the "Hulk" look popping up here and there.

I. Love. This. Boy.

Can't handle it, never could.

He is too damn sockety for words, and his Mommy is Crazy for him.

Crazy!

Danger

I want to post about this weekend, in detail. But for now, I don't have lots of time. Let's just say I feel like I was walking around with a pen and paper writing all the hilarious things coming out of Jaxon's mouth. He grew up in the last few days! I can't believe what a big boy he is turning into. Here's a sample of the funny things he said...

We were driving to James' sister's house and on the way, we drove past a wire fence. Out of no where Jax screamed, "OH das so janjwous!!!! Is wike Spidaman. Oh, bess youw hawt, Daddy. Is so janjwous." translation: " Oh, that's so dangerous, it's like Spiderman. Oh, bless your heart, Daddy it's so dangerous." We were laughing so hard still trying to keep the conversation going so we could find out what he meant. Then he said, "Das my kina janjer." Translation: "That's my kind of danger."

The funniest part was how enthusiastic he was. You would have thought the car was on fire the way he suddenly screamed so urgently! Our conclusion was that he was excited, because it looked like the fence on Spiderman that Peter Parker climbs up. He is VERY attracted to and excited about anything dangerous. He gets a little scared, but enjoys it more than I'd like!

We drove past the letter G on the mountain for Pleasant Grove and also drove past the Y. Jaxon told us after pointing them both out, "We betta fine a wetta O!" trans: "We better find the letter O."

I love these times. I love Jaxon's age. The unidentified causes for tantrums, string cheese drawings on our black table, being sent to time-out by a three-year-old all are cause for joy. We are alive and thriving! Thank heavens for the "beverly" at See's Candies, if wasn't for an occasional trip, I might just cry.

A New Discovery

Today I was getting ready in our bathroom and Jax had just gotten out of the tub and was nakey. He was in the other room watching, "Word World." He came in pinching his "button" aka nipple:) between his thumb and pointer finger. He looked like he had something brilliant to say...I knew it was going to be good...He looked up and me and with a look of enchantment and said after a long pause, "Want some?" I thought I was going to have an accident right there on the floor.

So to explain the meaning: Jaxon still remembers nursing. It's crazy but he will lay on my lap and say, "I want some Mama!" We haven't nursed for two years (for everyone out there who thinks I nurse my 3-year-old). When he was a baby I used to lay him on my lap when he was panting, kicking, and smacking those cute little lips--SO excited (every mom who has ever nursed knows that pant, it's my favorite) to nurse. Then one of my "lines" was, "Oh, do you want some?" There was a certain inflection and tone of my voice that doesn't quite capture on the screen here, but it was such a cute memory of baby Jaxon. As soon as he heard that, he knew it was time:) It's almost like this morning, after three years, he realized he indeed had some equipment that can be utilized for "Want some? time."

There is absolutely NOTHING in this world that beats being a Mama. I love it more than I ever dreamt possible. My teeth and jaw ache by the end of the day from all the gritting of the teeth. (You know when you love something or someone so much that your jaw clenches and sometimes even shakes?? Try it now...it's called "explosive love.")

Red Pants

This is really random, but I can't forget this one...Jax and I love getting in the "bastub" together...Usually I like the water really hot. When he was younger, he used to say, "Oh Mama is too hot!" To which I would say, "It's not hot, it feels goooood." So the other day I had turned on the water and gone to do something else quickly before I got in. I came back into the bathroom and he was already in playing in the tub. He stood up to get some toys and he had "red pants" on. (a really red bum and legs up to where the water stopped on his tummy) I asked him, "Oh, hunny isn't that too hot?" and he said, "Oh no, Mama, Its feews SO gooood." That's MY boy.

Jaxon & Sophia

We got to go stay at James' sister's house for a few days and watch their kids while they went to England...Jaxon had the time of his life! He LOVES his cousin, Sophia. And it was the best weather so we got to play outside lots. Tuesday afternoon, I was casually watching them play and I had one of those "moments" where you realize you are a mom, and the little boy jumping on the tramp is your son!!!!! It was incredible...In this moment, watching him with his white shirt, wearing the first pair of jeans he actually wore out before he grew out of them, with no shoes, shaggy auburn hair, that grin & giggle in the warm sunshine, It was bliss. I couldn't possible capture the moment on camera, but I will always remember this moment!

OOOPS!!!

So this morning Jaxon and I had quite the conversation...It went something like this.

Jax: "Mama, mama you gotta come see dis (this)!! Snow, its snow!! It's ova da houses! (on the houses--as we were looking out the window onto lots of homes' roofs)"

Mama: "Yeah, it's on all the houses..(as I looked closer I realized it really was a lot of snow and I wasn't excited about it!) What in the world?"

Jax: "It's ova da houses, but why?"

Mama: (trying to simplify, hm) "Cuz it comes out of the clouds."

Jax: "But why?"

Mama: "Because it falls from the sky."

Jax: "OH Meeean, what da hay-oh. OOOOOH Meeean, what da hay-oh!" (Oh man, what the hell!)

I am finally caught...I have really been surprised he hasn't caught on sooner...Everyone who knows me knows I have "explosive bursts" (in love of course) for my little man. Usually when I get one, Jaxon gets a big squeeze and a bite and I can't help but saying, with my teeth clenched "Oh, you cute little shit!" My Mom keeps telling me I will be sorry when it comes out of his mouth one of these days, but I guess my "what the hell" caught on first. OOOPS... You know what though, I know I shouldn't, but it's just so dang cute coming out of his little lispy mouth, I can't help but love it! Mom of the year strikes again!

"Ah Meee-ann"

Today Jaxon came up with this one. No clue where it came from! It's pretty hilarious coming out of such a little person with so much feeling... translation: "Ah, man!"

"We're buddies!"

So we have had this tradition since I can remember...We put our faces really close together and say, "WEEEEEEEE'RE BUUUUUUUUDIES!" My mom says my brother Andy came up with the idea when he was tiny. Jaxon loves to do this. Last night we were all just chillin, cleaning, laundry etc. Jax was watching "Wiw (little) chef" (Ratatouille). He started screaming, "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy, Daddy come snuggow (snuggle). So James and I came over and he situated us right where he wanted us...spooning with him right on top of us!!! He loves when we are all together. He especially loves having both of our full attention and the same time. I love that he wants us!!! I pray that never changes...