Picture Perspective

(Baby just woke up, so this is the abbreviated version...)

So, the other night I couldn't sleep. And when that happens, I get out my journal and do a "My Mind Dumped..." It's sort of a download, from mind to journal. Then I list everything that's on my mind until it's empty...

I ended up listing a few things that are some of the "BEST" things that I'm not creating time for...You know, the good, better, best talk by Dallin H. Oaks?!? Surprisingly, one theme was dominant on this list. PICTURES. I have made many mistakes, Yes, I have. One thing I have done right is taking lots and lots and lots and LOTS of pictures. Thank. Heavens. Even though they sit in folders on my computer, cds, and external hard drive, some printed out, they ARE there. BUT, I am dying to create Blurb books/ Blog book so we can enjoy them even more!

I just finished looking through photos from when James and I were engaged all the way through these days...I had an epiphany. Those pictures tell a story. Not of how much money we had in our account at the time, not how clean my house was. Not how much debt we had, not even how fit I was, or what clothes we were wearing, or even what car we drove...They tell a story of the JOY in our lives..A snap shot of the happiness that sparkled in Jaxon's eyes, James' eyes, mine, my family and friends' eyes...A peek into the journey of my marriage with James. So sockety to watch us growing. Our love. What perspective! How inspiring! Now, right now...I am re-committed to go create more joy. Forget about.......the rest...........How many things occupy my thoughts--Both worthy and unworthy of my energy and precious time, that fit into ........the rest..........category?!?! Love this paradigm shift. Feels like something the Christy Jex, on her death bed, would tell the Christy Jex of now, with babies, and many things that could rob the JOY, if she could. I'll take it!

I think this is what Dallin H. Oaks was getting at. Each of us DESERVES to take inventory and decide what it is that deserves our T.I.M.E? I am taking inventory again....While I'm at it,

SAY CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! click.....

So Live Your Life

A-a a-a a-a....

You know this one?

I love this song....I don't blog too much these days. Instead, I find myself
playing bad guys with Jaxon,

reading, writing in my journal,

cloroxing the toilet and ALL surrounding areas AGAIN...We have an amateur hose on the loose.

talking to someone I love,

watching Mr. Deeds with James Lorin Jex,

working my ace out,

smiling at strangers,

making something pleasing and healthy (or not) to eat,

taking pictures,

singing my brains out, playing the guitar, piano,

finding myself deeply infatuated with Urban Outfitters

dancing to Lionel Richie's song, "Love Oh Love," with my Jax,

feeding into my ipod playlist...MORE MUSIC addiction, beautifying someone's hairs,

eating like it's Armageddon at a Wendover buffet, realizing AGAIN I just do not like fish...thought I'd try one more time. EEK.

organizing photos, lots of them.

BEING so grateful,

learning to waltz with boy,

snuggling my fam,

going on a jungle safari..making...it while monkeys, elephants, and alligators roam about, (sounds exotic--it is. Anniversary Inn is a world all its own.)

patting myself on the back for updating my facebook status, in 3.5 seconds then red exing out,

chatting with one of my "ibuddies" you know who you are,

asking incessantly as if for the first time, "You can choose nice or mean, which do you choose?"

LAUGHING MY FREAKING BRAINS OUT with one who's brains aren't already out,

finding steals of deals--quirky treasures--at Plato's Closet with my pregnant and darling sista, Niki,

making blanket huts of all dimensions and designs,

writing in my sexy breakthrough book--including thoughts and feelings I don't believe but know to be true,

loving unconditionally--thinking about my angels in the flesh-you

biting the insides of my cheeks as Jax so eloquently airs yet another "Where-the-hell-did-that-come-from?" comment,

being actively pursued by casino security for taking a picture...who knew?

relaxing (huh?) yeah you know, sitting on my butt!!!....Hmm.

Imagine that?! I have recently discovered that I don't blog each movement I make, or each outing we take....
I have decided that I enjoy much more living my life in. the. mo-ment.

The release I experience from writing is therapeutic dare I say, orgasmic. I have found that the dynamic of the "blog writing" for me is very different. As you can see, I have been nearly dead on my blog, and have sincerely come to find out that FOR ME, it may not fit my idiom. I much prefer a genuine conversation or a hand-written private entry in my stretegically selected, worn-on-the-edges, self-expressing journal in Christy's chicken scratch. Maybe this feeling will morph with time, but for me, for now, it's true.

OH, and also, experiencing some nasty curse not being allowed to add bloody pictures to my posts...So here it is...a word-only post!

The word is,
BE-ing

As I commit to be the walking embodiment of this phrase,

So live your life...

I Am Alive

It has been a very long time since I have squeeled on my blog, a very l.o.n.g time. Life has definitely been exciting and full of lessons!!! The good news is:

1. I have an unbelievable family, this chaos is soothing to me;)

2. I have a very energetic and gorgeous little man, I adore him. He is fun and crazy and teaches me patience all the time.

3. I have been so blessed to be able to experience Impact Training--Quest, Summit and currently in Lift-Off. It has been UNBELIEVABLE. I love my Impact family, and have collected so many nuggets and have learned how to create peace within myself, even amidst turbulence.

4. I am SO BLESSED. I really see the Lord's hand in my every day. I realize that my life has been turned upside down, and would appear "chaotic" and "out-of-control" but I feel so much peace, truly, amidst seemingly insurmountable trials. (I choose to call them adventures.) For that I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO grateful, my tangible peace. "No, no they can't take that away from me." (Franky)

That's the good news.

Oh Fall How I Adore You,

The smells,

the colors,

the coziness,

the chilly hoodie weather,

the General Conference feeling,

the "heading into Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas season" feeling,

the boots,

the rustiness,

pumpkins,

pink nose on my Jaxon,

fresh, chilly air through our home,

hot apple cider,

Lipton extra noodle soup every night before bed,

snuggling muscly Jamous in a hoodie and cologne(mmm),

cold air with tons of blankets on at night,

cozy harvest decorations that warm up my home,

crunchy colorful leaves,

walks in the mountains with my boys,

Jax discovering all the different colors the leaves turn: "yellow, owange, wed, gween, and bwue,"

all the cute jackets, scarves, hats,

BYU football season,

the movies,

big, soft, fluffy socks

I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it...

Nuggets

This past week has been BYU Education Week! The theme this year is The Life Long Journey of Learning. Anyone who really knows me and my family knows we check out of reality for one week a year and practically move into the Wilkinson Center at BYU. This year was my favorite so far, honestly. I have been going since I was 14 and loved every year, this year I have been "prepared" for learning like never before, so I was blessed with too many "light bulbs" to count. SO GRATEFUL.

My mom and I go "turbo" style. Early morning till late at night. This year we had Niki with us most of the time, her boy, Nick, came for a few classes, my aunt, Heidi, and of course James joined me for the night classes. I have dreamt of my husband joining me for classes for years, so I always ADORE the time we spend together there:)

Some classes we went to include: Joseph Smith's translation of the Bible (JST) fascinating details that strengthened my testimony immensely! And wet my appetite to learn more about this incredible man.

The Nativity: little-known details and background on the culture, meaningful explanation that makes a LOT mean a LOT more. Christmas, to me, will never be the same. Such as, I have a new respect for Mary and Joseph that I never would have realized. When you really think about it, Mary has an angel appear to her and tell her she will bring forth a baby boy being a VIRGIN. Then trying to explain all this to Joseph, having already been betrothed, (Their custom had VERY harsh punishment to the "unfaithful" betrothed, death by stoning) Having to deal with other's and their "judgments," knowing the truth, while realizing the true miracle in their midst. Fascinating.

Lots of classes about realizing our personal life's mission. Not just surviving in this life, but fulfilling an eternal mission that Heavenly Father has specifically given each of us to bless our lives and the lives of all those around each of us. For this reason he has blessed us with talents, gifts, passions etc that are meant to support us in our specific journey. Ultimately, to assist in building the Kingdom of God, each in our own unique way.

We found a couple about teaching our children leadership. One idea I loved, that my Dad always did to me (and freaked me out when I was little) is help your kids order their own food, hand the cashier payment, ask their own questions, get our kids talking to adults early on.

How to turn weaknesses into strengths,

How to more effectively study the scriptures,

Taking control in life instead of the blanket excuse, "I'm too busy for that." Which usually ends up being the MOST important aspects of life.

Zion, the pure in heart, and help in preventing our loved ones from being ensnared in Pornography-- This class was phenomenal. Bro. Packer talked about filling our kids minds, homes, with positive images, and thoughts to help POSITIVELY combat/replace the devastating effects of porn and all the sickening media. He had all sorts of beautiful and some funny images, coupled with catchy phrases to make a point. My favorite phrase he said was, "Find some of these pictures, create some ideas and slap these puppies up all over your house and bless your family!"

Recognizing the promptings of the Spirit, how to receive revelation.

The power of opposites in communication. How to be creative with this, honoring others' ideas, the four quadrants of ideas in communication.

Effective communication, gender differences, bridging the gap, appreciating differences.

Building confidence and trust (mostly from a business aspect).

The vision of Joseph Smith. I gained such an appreciation for this great man. It's exciting to realize how real he was, but how extraordinary his experience on this earth was, and how TRUE this gospel is.

But my favorite classes were the ones on The Savior. I had some indescribable experiences understanding the atonement, how intimate it is, and realizing how anxious our Savior is to bless us and strengthen us, regardless of how our lives go, IT'S OKAY. I love this gospel, and I ADORE My Savior. I feel so blessed and feel perspective coming into my life like never before. WE ARE SO SPOILED!!!! I want to share this gospel with the world.

This week for me is truly life-changing. This is just a drop in the bucket of my nuggets, Just think of the nuggets YOU could collect there.

So much love.

Yeehaw

I am loving life and I am indeed alive! I wasn't for a while, but wow am I blessed... I love my Framily (YOU), my family, and my Savior so much and I am coming to life! Hello world--as Elmo would say.

{Two of my precious little sisters, love them.}

Memory Lane

I saw this on my friend's blog and had fun sharing memories with her. It will be fun especially if everyone will join in! Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember, good or bad but be nice!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments. Please keep it going. ENJOY :)

Sunrise, Sunrise...

Looks like mornin in your eyes. But the clock's held 9:15 for hours...Thank you much Nora Jones. So this morning, at 5:07am, my alarm on my phone began "serenading" me with "You, are my baby love, baby love, you make the sunshine bright, OOOH boy, you're my every everything that I could ever dream of." Typically when I hear that song, I scramble to hit any button so the madness will STOP! Again and again. and again. and again. Anyone who really knows me knows I am certainly, not in ANY circumstances a "morning person." It honestly feels like the absolutely most dreadful, unnatural, and horrific occurrence, getting out of bed. ESPECIALLY before the sun has come up.

My sweetheart, I love this, used to have to get up at 4ish in the morning to catch the "express bus" that went straight up to the U from Provo when we were first married. Back when he was planning on Dental School, HA! It was hilarious, the first word out of his mouth every morning, without fail, was some sort of profanity. Usually OH SHI*!!!!! Not that I blame him. We are two peas in a pod.

I, on the other hand, can honestly say, besides those days when I used to have to wake up and take him down to the bus-stop, I haven't seen the sunrise in YEARS!!! Not even when Jaxon was nursing. THANK heavens for that.

My friend, Steph and I have had several tearful laughs talking about this issue. She told me about her morning wos and it has to do with the first words out of her mouth being SOB. So now we have a code, "it's been an SOB morning, but I'm trying to get over it." This is one of the reasons I love this woman so much. MM hm

So back to this morning. Steph is leaving for 5 weeks to Florida today. :( :( :( I am so happy that she gets to run away and have a great time, but I might cry, that's all I have to say. So she has been going to Jazzercise for a while now at the butt crack of dawn, 5:30. I decided to take one for the team and go with her today for a "going away" present for her. (not really, but HA HA, how generous am I? Shows how much I love her.) I can honestly say, besides the agony of realizing after that damn song blares on my phone and jerks me out of my peaceful state that I can't keep throwing it against the wall every time it speaks up, I actually have to move my tush vertical and move my ace, I actually enjoyed "sneaking up on the day" by being awake early enough to witness an actual SUNRISE!

I got to shake it using the step. (a fun little twist on the workout--ending up 180 degrees opposite the whole class, SMACK dab in the front one time.) But you know, it really was refreshing! I got to have a nice bath with Franky(tunes) and all the tub toys, of course, but alone! I can't remember the last time I have done that. Normally the sound of the tub water running is Jaxon's que to bolt, strip, and join whoever is getting in. Here are some perks from waking up earlier. (I have been considering pros and cons to see if it's really worth it.)

*Some completely alone time. No one needs anything, and it's my choice what I listen to, think, and do.

*Move that body!! I am an active person, naturally. But it doesn't always come natural if ya know what I mean. Having a little one makes things a little tougher, timing wise. It is so nice to get it done first thing in the morning, so I can feel the release FIRST and start my day and thinking right.

*Heavenly Father answers prayers when my mind is emptier and more open. Those two components usually don't grace my mind during my chaotic days. How about you?

*An extra few hours before anyone is even living!!!! Oh, my goodness. How often do we, moms, complain about never having any ME time?!?!? I wish for more all the time. Not girl's night out, or date night, but at home with no one asking for anything, or needing anything just "hm what can I do now?" type time...Well, it may not be easy to hear, but for me, at least, it's my own dang fault. If I choose to sleep in, I am pretty much kissing ME time goodbye. Choices, choices.

*An overall better feeling about utilizing life and putting first things first. I am a huge believer that we constantly need to nourish our minds, spirits, and hearts by reading wholesome, uplifting books (including the scriptures) AND write in a journal. I LOVE THIS. However, sometimes, as crucial as this is in the overall scheme, it can all-too-easily be pushed aside and soon we find ourselves depleted, tired, overwhelmed, maybe depressed, hopeless, NOT in touch with the Spirit, and definitely not our "best selves."

This, for me is the most important aspect and the argument that might just help me continue to move my ace and start living, really living, when normally I would be dead to the world and swearing my face off. It looks pretty clear cut on paper doesn't it? HM...we'll see how it goes tomorrow when that dang phone blares rudely and interrupts my blissful sleep.

What do you think?!

100 Things About Me

I started it on the 18th, so scroll down a bit, it's so freaking long! Love you all...

100 Things About Me

My cute friend, Elise posted this and I really loved learning more about her. It's 100 things you would want your posterity to know about you. I hope everyone who reads this does it too... Because I LOVE learning about people, especially each of you. This way I won't have to read your text messages on your phone:) Niki;)

1. I love my family so much it makes my teeth hurt.

2. I am so grateful I have the Gospel in my life. The peace that it brings is irreplacable in my life. I would be a raging lunatic without it.

3. I love seeing the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. Even the small things. I truly feel like he is always knocking at the door of my crazy mind, wanting to be a part of my life, and when I allow a little time to notice, I feel his influence EVERY time. I am grateful for that.

4. I love my FRAMILY...Friends I have designated as family.

5. I love my husband. We have grown so close and I am grateful for all our "adventures."

6. My Jaxon Andy Jex is my biggest accomplishment.

7. I absolutely know you can do anything you truly believe you can do, even if most people don't believe in you, or believe it's possible. So believe:) believe. Is that a real word?

8. I confess, I really enjoy swearing sometimes...Only damn and hell, it really adds emphasis, and gives me a release when I need it. Shi* when referring to my boys as in, "You cute little shi*"

9. I feel ready when I have earrings in.

10. I love to sing, especially alto..I find Shania Twain, Nora Jones, Rascall Flatts, Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble usually stay in the range I enjoy.

11. I love to read, mostly self improvement books, or factual, anything uplifting but real.

12. I love to wear black. My friends in high school used to tease me because it used to be all I wore...I have branched out, but still love it.

13. My family is everything to me.

14. I love the mountains.

15. I love to write.

16. I loved Mr. Roach's college writing class my senior year.

17. I am working on learning how to say,"NO!" when appropriate.

18. I love dreaming big and talking about those big dreams with my Hunny.

19. I love to fly, even the airport is intruiging to me, all those PEOPLE to watch!

20. I loved French class and Madame Nielsen, I am intruiged with Europe. (sorry James)

21. I love James' calves, they're smokin hot.

22. I love receiving a card, and giving them.

23. Sometimes I have a hard time answering my phone, I can't quite figure out why.

24. I am uncomfortable looking up this list and seeing all the "I"s. Maybe I should stop now.

25. I pray someday I can be half the mom my Mama is to her kids, she is honestly amazing. She can listen and reciprocate better than anyone I have ever known. I still just want my mommy all the time.

26. I am usually about ten minutes late (working on it)

27. I can distort my face into some pretty grotesque contortions, I had to marry James before I would show him any....yep they are that bad.

28. I love my planner.

29. I want to take a dance class for has-beens.

30. I love the nastalga of movies that have a good feeling, I can "watch" even just put on the same ones over and over.

31. Disneyland is my favorite.

32. I love ACN and our wonderful team (framily). It's a dream come true for us.

33. Modern homes are my favorite, I love the fresh, clean, and unique energy they carry.

34. I used to write poetry a lot. Mostly when I was frustrated or distraught. I would love to do more, but about my blessings, thoughts.

35. I love to be in bookstores, especially when they serve coffee and lattes. (for the smell)

36. I have learned something from everyone I have interacted with. I consider it a blessing.

37. I have a hard time spending any time with people who are negative and overly willing to share their "thoughts on life."

38. I love laughing about life!!!

39. I don't like pop, just the first sip of a cold, freshly opened Dr. Pepper of James' or a cherry coke of my Daddy's. I love a cold bottle of water.

40. I love doing Yoga with James

41. I used to play the piano lots, even compete along with my big brother, Andy. I love playing casually now, but would love to learn to sight read better.

42. I can't stand an akward silence in Relief Society after the teacher has asked a question. Therefore, I feel like I speak up a lot when I don't really want to.

43. I love Temple Square.

44. My hair doesn't grow in the front, it's annoying, so sometimes I get extenstions just in the front.

45. I have a soft spot for "special needs" people. I worked with them at Lindon Care and Training Center for a few years while going to Cosmetology School.. I would consider working with them some of the most fulfilling years of my life. Plus I met my husband and one of my bestest friends in the process.

46. I have always wanted to play the violin in a symphony--I love classical music.

47. I can't stand still when a rap song is on.

48. You can look in my pantry at any given time and find at least 5 boxes of Lipton extra noodle soup, I have some most every night.

49. It's thrilling to me to smile at strangers.

50. I did gymnastics for my whole childhood and couldn't imagine my life without it. When I was fiive months pregnant, I did a round-off back-hand-spring in the hallway of a sleazy hotel in Wendover.

51. In high school, while cheering at basketball and football games, anytime something exciting happened, I would pee my pants.

52. I LOVE taking pictures, but I am definitely not a scrapbooker.

53. My brother, Andy passed away when I was 9. He was my bestest friend and I miss him all the time.

54. We named Jaxon after Andy. Hence, Jaxon Andy Jex. He looks a LOT like Andy.

55. I love the smell of clean laundry. Especially whites that have been bleached.

56. I love doing hair, but only once a week these days.

57. I have never been one to get "star struck." I admire people who have accomplished a lot, but have respect for them more than unrealistic obsession.

58. I absolutely ADORE Christmas season.

59. I am not very attracted to "cutesy" decorations for my home, it's just not me.

60. I collect plates. On James and my honeymoon, we went to a thrift store in Ventura, California where James served his mission, and got a plate that says, San Francisco.(ha ha:) There was a homeless guy snuggling his dog on the ground right in fron of the entrance, I think about it all the time.

61.I am severely allergic to HORSES, dogs, cats, anything furry. It's probably for their protection, I would love them too much and squeeze them to death if I wasn't allergic.

62. James and I are learning how to ballroom dance.

63. Ever since I was young, my Grandpa Warren (the star in my sky) would hug me and I would lay my head on his chest while he sang Frank Sinatra songs. He still does. I have loved Franky more than life every since.

64. I have to change my hair constantly, I have hair ADD.

65. I love going to Jazz games with James.

66. I swear the Jazz dancers do one movement most of the time, a sleazy step touch.

67. James and I love to get away. We try to go every three months. We call them our "honeymoons."

68. I love going to Lake Powell, and am working on loving to wear a swimming suit. (eeeh)

69. I love the smell of Scentsy "Snowberry." mmmmm. I want to eat it.

70. My little sis, Niki's, fiance has furry, soft earlobes that I bite sometimes, I really can't help it.

71. I always wanted to stay out of Utah Valley, but we are moving there next month and I can't wait to be back.

72. I don't like doing dishes, but love a clean, cozy house.

73. I remember when the only physical feature on my body I was "self-conscious" of was my feet. I miss those days.

74. I would love to learn to paint, draw, sculpt, do pottery, or some sort of art. I feel like I have something inside me that needs to explode out.

75. A couple years ago, I jumped off the back of a moving boat and got burned by the skiing rope on my neck. It left a huge raw burn across my neck, people thought they were funny by saying, "James, you've been choking your wife!?!?!?" It took months to clear up and I got an outbreak of 50+ cankers in my mouth, gums, tongue, down my throat. I couldn't eat anything but pudding and lost 15 pounds in two weeks.

76. My Dad thinks my handwriting should be a computer font. He thinks it's crazy.

77. My mom loves when my hair is dark, because I look more like her.

78. I used to always wear high heels, but now I like to be comfortable, it's easier to play with Jax with shorter shoes, and I actually like being shorter.

79. I feel like 2007 was one of the hardest years of my life. I learned SO much and am more comfortable with myself, and who I am than ever before because of the "adventures" we had last year.

80. I love eating healthy, but love to not be too uptight about it.

81. I was pretty much a vegetarian my whole childhood, probably because my dad would make the sound of whatever animal comprised the meat we ate, but when I got pregnant I craved red meat and now love it. Especially the flat iron steak at Sizzler.

82. I love being pregnant, and think pregnant women are far more beautiful than boney models.

83. I have kept a journal since I was little, I LOVE to write.

84. My all-time favorite song is "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.

85. I get a natural high from a funny movie such as, Naco Libre, A Mighty Wind, Best in Show, The Grinch (Jim Carrey), Tommy Boy, Napoleon Dynamite I could go on and on.

86. I love romantic comedies.

87. My family pretty much talks and thinks in movie lines.

88. I love big hair 80s music, it's my childhood.

89. I want to be involved in the movie industry someday. Maybe a stylist. I just love it.

90. There is nothing better than a "power ride" in the mountains with cranked music.

91. I love to organize things, therefore I am in love with IKEA.

92. I love giving Jax surprises and making him excited about anything!!!

93. I live for Education Week every year.

94. I have a love affair with moving. I think we haven't bought a home yet because we love to move and experience new places, people, energy.

95. I do not compete(the unhealthy, snotty, insecure kind). If people try they always win. I would rather stroke someone's ego than play those silly games.

96. I love hot apple cider.

97. I didn't start liking mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, artichokes, till I turned 20. Now I love them all.

98. I LOVE to be touched, I even love going to the Dentist.

99. I miss a lot of my friends from my childhood, teenage years.

100. This was agonizing, but therapeutic. I love my life and feel extremely blessed. I love every one of you who would read this. Really. I. Do.

Epiphane @ Subway

So yesterday I was feeling so great!! Just coming home from an extremely successful meeting in Provo but feeling starving ( it was three and I hadn't eaten for the day yet, duh). The problem was, NOTHING sounded good. They had tons of pizza, pop, chips and salsa at the meeting, but that sounded repulsive to me, ah! Not even my fire-grilled steak-Cafe Rio salad with extra sauce sounded good. Then, a few minutes later, I saw it. Subway stood gleaming in the sunshine. OH yes!! Perfect!! I got my regular sandwich and got back in my car. This beautiful scrumptious sandwich was honestly a little slice a heaven. I was totally engulfed in the texture, smell, warmth, and combination of wonderful flavors all coming together to create this masterpiece. If you've ever seen Ratatouille, you can picture me and Remi eating together while fireworks crackled above our heads...if you haven't seen it, you need to. I think the only word that just might catch my passion for this sandwich would have to be purely 100% orgasmic! Sorry!!!

Here's the epiphane...If the Subway worker would have asked me three years ago, "What would you like on your sandwich?" here's what I would say, "White bread, turkey, no cheese, lettuce, PICKLES like you can't believe how many pickles are on it. Keep going. Even more. Okay I guess that's good. Mayo. TONS of mustard. That pretty much does it." Wow. Ever since I can remember I have liked "pickle sandwiches with a little meat." I rarely felt satisfied with the amount of pickles I was given. One time, however, I got what I wanted on a big mac at Burger King. We took pictures--it was that momentous! Yesterday when the cute burnett asked me, "What sandwich can I make for you?" Here was my response, "Wheat bread. Turkey and ham. Pepper jack cheese. Toasted. Little lettuce. Tomatoes with lots of salt and pepper right on them. Banana peppers. Spinach. Oil and vinegar. That looks wonderful!!! Oh baby!" ( I really said that to her, ha ha:) So I began thinking...What has changed my mind? NOT ONE PICKLE OR DROP OF MUSTARD?!?!? What is responsible for this?

And here is the epiphane, really this time... I got married 5 years ago to a very sweet man. James Jex. One trait I love and admire in him is his complete acceptance of me- all my quirks, faults, OCD isms, craziness still his quiet strength and confidence and love for me is all I ever hear and feel from him. He never picks me apart or criticizes me or even questions my ways. (although he probably should) Over the years while eating food together, I would non-assumingly as part of a casual conversation ask questions once in a while, like, "OOOh don't you love your sandwich. MMM! Mine is SO good, you wannna taste it?" So he would politely say after taking a bite, "Yeah thats good." I asked,"You like all the pickles?" He would respond after being pressed for a real answer, "Well yeah, but I like tasting a lot of flavors not just one on a sandwich." Hm. What a concept. I had never considered that.

So gradually I would add a couple different veggies or meats on our visits to Subway to test out his gentle suggestion. And over time I found a whole new world and I found what I religiously ordered without fail was actually not as tastey as my new creations. I know this might a bit over stated and you might be asking yourself, "What's the big deal??? Why did crazy Christy spend all this time and write a NOVEL about a sandwich?"

Really my purpose is to recognize this as a symbol for a whole plethera of aspects of my life that have been enriched and magnified by being married to this wonderful guy. And also to notice and celebrate the joy of gradual improvements that bring so much light, joy, epiphanes, and good energy the soul! Not only have I found a whole new world of food, but gradually my stubborn mindset has been pried open and I have discovered there is a lot to learn and appreciate in this world!!! Not just in my way, but there are countless perspectives and endless possibilities in this massive world!! Which now reveals my passionate intrigue with people in general. Once James' influence helped me see that there is another vantage point besides my own that sometimes feels better than my original perspective, I can't get enough discovering new people, perspectives, cultures, etc...I feel SO liberated! Even still, I will be the first to admit that we have had our share of hard times. In marriage, life, parenting, death, all of the struggles we can encounter in this world. But gratefully I declare today that I feel I have lived in the palm of my Heavenly Father's had through it all and I continue to do so. I really haven't ever loved James as much as I do today. We have learned so much from each other and from the truly seemingly overewhelming challenges we have faced together. I used to resent our differences and try to force change in issues that are impossible to change in a person.

Now I try to embrace and appreciate our differences and have experienced a blossoming in our relationship that is truly UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I love my sweetheart and honestly can say I enjoy a friendship with him that feeds my soul. Alelujah! Not something that came without some effort, but so rewarding after a few years of "adjusting" :) I look SO forward to our years to come. My best buddy! I can't wait to see what else I learn from a seemingly insignificant occurance. And to think, all of this sprung from a Subway sandwich that hit the spot.

Stephanie Sant

Oh how I ADORE this woman...I swear I could spend hours on end talking, laughing, sometimes snorting with this girl-- We spent hours tonight doing just that! I am SO grateful I have gotten to know you, Steph. GEESE!!!! I couldn't love hanging with you more....you wanna get some serious "flashback friday" going?!?!? Can't wait:)