Wow....That's probably all I should say. We have really had some "adventures" in the last couple weeks. My Daddy had a carsonoid (spelling?) tumor removed from his small intestines, (you get the condensed story that took us weeks to find out. NOT fun, waiting for a prognosis...) They found that a few of the lymph nodes that were close to the tumor were cancerous. :( BAD news. Thankfully, no other organs have been effected yet. But then after more waiting and research it turns out, that it's treatable, and we choose to stay positive. My Daddy is SUCH a trooper. He kills me. The day he got home from getting his major surgery, he was all dressed and ready for the day, working on his computer. What a crazy man. I love him so much.
Needless to say, I have REALLY had some awesome epiphanies. It's amazing how the reality of what is really important in life can be foggy, then the Lord finds a way to CLARIFY real quickly. My family is EVERYTHING to me. Including my Jexy fam.
Also, on top of this, we have had some other very "heart-breaking" issues to work through. At the same exact, impeccable timing as my Daddy's issues. OH how I love to grow!!! ha ha:) I don't say any of this for pity, compassion, or anything of the sort. I actually HATE to be the "cloud" or the "pity party star." I would rather hurry and solve problems, so I don't have to vocalize any negative energy. I'm a weirdo. The reason I am even blogging right now, is because I believe I would be selfish to keep to myself, and miss a chance to possibly lift someone by sharing a bit of what's become apparent, as of late.
I have gained a stronger testimony of how very real my Savior's comfort, peace, and friendship is than EVER before. It's amazing how in the depths of hell, The Lord has a way of truly bringing peace and a warm, calm feeling to this freakishly upset girl. I have been reading a lot and I have found that if I don't personally find a way to really connect with my Heavenly Father, and REALLY put my trust in him, he finds a way to strip me of options, so I have no where to run but to him. I have an idea, how about I remember him always and fore-go the "adventures" to break me and bring me to my knees literally? Wouldn't that be great? I am actually grateful for these times.
I have come closer to my Father in Heaven than ever before and have had some experiences that I will never forget. Experiences that bring the Priesthood power out of a manual and into my fearful heart, never to be removed. That bring the concept of the atonement out of the books and into every whit of me. Some of the things I have learned have honestly uncovered masses of information and understanding that I don't know if I could have acquired in the comfort of a pain-free oblivion. I have gained a love deeper than I ever thought possible for my precious Mama and Daddy, my littles, my son, my husband, my Savior, Heavenly Father, prayer, the scriptures, the temple, the gospel, the sure reality of priesthood power, medical professionals, health, the precious commodity of time, some "retail therapy," and last but not least, the absolute necessity and therapeutic release of a funny movie.
I continue to live in the palm of my Heavenly Father's hand, how tragic to be living there and never look up to notice, those kind eyes? Without heart-ache, I believe it's probable that I would keep myself far too occupied to let silence, promptings impress upon my heart feelings, and knowledge more sure than this body I live in--completely MISSING my blessed and carefully designed situation in which I reside--my Savior's embrace. I considered waiting till the storm passed to write about any of this, but maybe someone needed to hear this.
